my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
