First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
