Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the condom got lost in my hair
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize