in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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