Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you win again, gameday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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