just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
