My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
