I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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