Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
