imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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