I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
