am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
