I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
