Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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