the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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