im having a threesome with these popsicles
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
