You smell like stripper and shame
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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