whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize