i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
