Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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