There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
