so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
