yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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