eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
