now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
