Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
