I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize