im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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