"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
