Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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