He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
