You're my little dorito
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
