I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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