I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I party with great urgency now.
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