I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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