how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
