worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
