I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
