it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
