i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
