sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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