did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
