Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
