ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
