How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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