i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
