You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm really busy with my period
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