my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
