The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
