The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
