It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Buhtt sex?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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