I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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