he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize