Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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