i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize