He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mom said you looked used
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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