You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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