I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
