you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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