She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
