I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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