i just had sex bonerless
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
