Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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