There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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