well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
