I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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