She announced her abortion via fbk
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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