but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
im on a boat
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