Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
