omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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