I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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